by molly klima
I want to acknowledge that mental health and suicide are very complex issues and in no way shape or form am I trying nor am I am capable of addressing it all here.
Suicide is the 12th leading cause of death in the United States. In 2020, there were almost double the number of lives lost to suicide than homicides. Believe it or not, the highest demographic of deaths by suicide are males aged 75 and older. Non-Hispanic, middle aged White males make up the second largest group. Unfortunately, we also know that the numbers have risen over the past decade for kids and youth as well.
I’ve copied a link at the bottom of this post to a sermon given by Sammy Adebiyi. I’m not offended if you just want to skip all of this and go listen to it. It’s about an hour long and it’s worth every second. It’s packed full of truth and I haven’t heard mental health addressed in the church any better than this. It’s from March of 2022. I remember cleaning my living room, sobbing as I was listening because I needed to be reminded that even in the church, especially in the church, there is room for those struggling to keep existing, let alone living. I needed affirmation that Jesus sees and can meet the need of those around me who are asking things like, “Does my life even matter?” or saying, “I’d rather just be dead.”
if you want to keep reading…
I sat in a small church filled mostly with people I didn’t know. The walls were pale blue and the pastor looked like Santa in a black robe. The air was stiff and the tension hung like thick fog. A father stood to deliver the eulogy for his daughter. Her young sons sat towards the front, but not in the front row. It seemed surreal that we would be here, in this moment, an attempt to honor a life that had been ravaged by trauma, addiction and ended with suicide. It wasn’t that her life wasn’t worth honoring or that it hadn’t been fought for. Her life was very much both of those things. It just didn’t seem real. I can still picture her father and he asked something that seemed to capture the essence of his daughter’s life:
“What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immoveable object?”
What happens?
What happens when addiction won’t stop whispering your name? What happens after years of physical, sexual or emotional abuse? What happens when chronic illness steals your days and pain is your closest companion? What happens when there’s divorce and deception and death? What happens when the external voices are all too quick to tell you that you’re worthless? What happens when you are drowning in debt?
I can’t tell you what happens in all those situations. I know suffering is guaranteed in this life, but so is hope. I can tell you there are options and there is help.
If you’re feeling hopeless, we need you here. There’s hope.
If you’re overwhelmed and can’t see a way out, we need you here. There’s hope.
If you beleive you’re too far gone, we need you here. There’s hope.
If you feel like you can’t take one more breath, we need you here. There’s hope.
If waking up tomorrow seems impossible, we need you here. There’s hope.
If you’ve been hanging on by a thread for years and someone just cut the string, we need you here. There’s hope.
Regardless of where you are, we need you here. There’s hope.
I’ve received the hysterical phone call after the devastation happened and I’ve been part of the call for help. I was in a doctor’s appointment and the doc had left the room to prepare injections for my joints. While he was gone my phone rang, this person calling me knew where I was and called anyways. So, I answered. The doctor returned to the room and I told him I needed to leave for an emergency. I dodged the needles but it was still an incredibly painful day. But you know what? That was a handful of years ago and I have more than a handful of new memories with someone who almost decided to end their life instead of reaching out for help. They chose to reach out for help and they’re still here. And everyone who knows them is better for it.
One of the the things most comforting to me about the Bible is it is full of people who make mistakes, who God still lavishes his love upon and that Jesus himeself knows suffering.
In Psalm 6, David is being direct about his current state: “O Lord, don’t rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your rage. Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony. I am sick at heart. How long, O Lord, until you restore me? Return, O Lord, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love. For the dead do not remember you. Who can praise you from the grave? I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred with grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemeies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer. May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified. May they suddenly turn back in shame.”
Have you ever had a day like David? Physically ill, too much weeping to see clearly and almost disoriented by your distress? Maybe you haven’t. Maybe your life has been relatively free of death or devastation or illness or trauma. If that is you, if you’re saying, “Molly, I’ve never been like that because I’d never allow myself to be that weak.” or “I don’t understand all this mental health jibb jabb and everyone just needs to toughen up.”
Just try to imagine for a second. Try to imagine a pain that is so deep and so consuming that you believe leaving a permanent mark of tragedy on everyone around you would be easier for them and you than taking another breath. I know there’s this idea that suicide is selfish and I get that. But I also think if you’ve never been in such a way that you see that as the only way out, then it’s hard to have any empathy for someone who is feeling like there is no other option.
God does not abandon those who are on the fringe. He does not mock David’s tears or pain. There’s no punchline of “suck it up buttercup.” He answers. He sends people to crack through the brick walls. He brings redemption. He shows comppassion. He restores.
Maybe you don’t go to church or listen to sermons, but I encourage you to listen anyways. Sammy is a storyteller who brings scripture to life and reminds us that mental health and suicide “are in this room.” It’s present in the people we love in our communities and we can’t hold off on these conversations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eek_Gn6JEaw&t=617s
There’s no shame in needing help. There is no shame in therapy or medication or calling a crisis line or going to the hospital. We need you here.
If you are in crisis you can call or text 988 for confidential support. Or you can live chat at the link below. These services are available 7 days a week, 24hrs a day.
standing with hope 
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