standing with hope

by jamie ka bollenbacher

Slammed door. Loud hurtful words. Punched wall. An anger so deep inside that makes me feel like I’m going to explode. I have an emotional disability.

Words swimming on the page. Math problems that don’t make sense. Feeling dumb and incapable. I can’t keep up. Everyone telling me to just try harder. I have a learning disability.

Pencil tapping. Squirming in my seat. Blurting out everything that comes to mind. I can’t focus. I can’t help it. My body and brain and words don’t stop, and you’ve convinced me that I’m “bad” just for being who I am. I have ADHD.

But I’m also… Chosen. Loved. Cherished. Created in the image of God to be exactly who I am and to impact this world in a way that only I can.

It’s National Disability Employment Awareness Month. As of the 2021-2022 school year, 15% of the United States students’, ages 3-21, in a public school setting received special education services and supports. Maybe this doesn’t seem like a huge number, but that is 7.3 MILLION students with a disability in our public schools who will go on to (hopefully) enter the workforce. (National Center for Educational Statistics). 

Students don’t lose or outgrow their disability as they become older and move into the workplace. They learn to live with it. They learn little tricks to make tasks easier. They develop regulation skills to calm their body and brain. They learn to cope with being different so they can fit in, get and keep a job, make a living to support themselves, and live a life they can be proud of despite feeling like they aren’t good enough or smart enough growing up in schools and a world that wants to put them in a box that doesn’t fit them. Unfortunately, even when a person with a disability “tries harder”, as they’ve been told countless times, a job still isn’t a guarantee. The Bureau of Labor Statistics states that the unemployment rate for a person with a disability is twice as high as a person without a disability. Without employment, housing is hard to afford, and according to Psychology Today, 30%-40% of unhoused Americans have a cognitive disability. 

If you know me, you know that working with students with disabilities is what I’m passionate about and where I’ve dedicated my entire professional life. You also know that my ultimate goal isn’t to help them earn that A in math or to be the best reader in their class. While those things are great, and we obviously celebrate those achievements, I want my students to see themselves the way I see them… funny, creative, and so loved exactly as they are because of who they are, and that is exactly who God created them to be. It’s a privilege to have the opportunity to be their teacher. Their safe place. Their cheerleader. Their initiator of hard conversations and giver of consequences when needed because I want them to be their best selves. I want them to have the skills they need to get a job and contribute to their community in a meaningful way. They deserve to have the same opportunities as those without a disability, and each day I walk into school knowing that if my students leave feeling seen, heard, and loved, I’ve done my part that day to work toward our goal of them becoming exactly who they’ve been created to be.

by molly klima

I’ve tried for months to write a post about this and this is when I’m extra thankful for guest writers. I’m thankful for Jamie and people like her. People who commit themselves to training and loving and advocating for students and individuals with learning differences. Not all disabilities or illnesses are visible. It’s hard to tell by looks if someone has dyscalculia or dysgrahpia or dyslexia or poor receptive or expressive communication or poor executive functioning.

In my personal opinion, educators are some of the most undervalued professionals in our society. They really are preparing the next generation and spend an awful lot of time with our kids. The patience and creativity it takes to work well with students who don’t fit the mold or with lower thresholds shouldn’t go unnoticed. They are every day heroes. The extra paperwork, the tantrums they can deescalate, the rapport they are able to build with students that very few others can is life changing. If we didn’t have the resources and support our kids need, I cannot even imagine where they would be.

You don’t always hear a lot about Intervention Specialists or case managers or speech therapists. Their students aren’t typically giving the graduation speeches or voted homecoming king. Their students tend to have fewer friends and sometimes seem invisible to the world around them. But the educators who give years of their lives to those kids, they are saving lives. They are being a friend to the kid no one else wants to be friends with. They are helping them learn basic communication skills so someday they can participate in quick conversations with their peers, even if their processing is a little slower. They help build confidence and resilience and get a front row seat to it all.

I don’t know if I can’t say more because it’s too much at the end of the day, after having every day effected by things like these that my brain just can’t do it anymore. Or maybe it’s just not the time. I do know that despite all the challenges people outside of our circle see or don’t see, I am thankful everyday for progress that’s made and the people who help get us there.