standing with hope

by molly klima

I’ve never enjoyed running. I’ve never understood track, who wants to run for fun? A few years ago my husband began running as a way to improve his physical and mental health. He crushed it. He ran his first 5k in January in 2019 and in April of 2020 he ran a marathon. He loves to tell people: “When I first started I couldn’t run for even 30 seconds.” In the midst of my own health battle with psoriatic arthritis and anklyosing spondilitis, I decided if he could run a race, I could too. So in December of 2019, I ran the Jingle Bell Run hosted by The Arthritis Foundation. I still want to know who plans an outdoor race for Arthritis awareness in Ohio during the month of December. Save that for Arizona. If you know, you know.

As it would turn out, I kind of liked running. It was my way of kicking arthritis in the face, even if I needed compression sleeves on both of my knees to do it. It relieved a lot of tension, especially in 2020. So I would run every once in awhile and complete a couple 5ks every year. I’d run by myself or get together with my friend, Shauna, who also enjoyed running. Truth be told, she is a big reason I kept running. Shauna is the friend who pushes you to do hard things because completing or beating challenges are her favorite. Tell her she can’t do something and then sit back while she proves you wrong. Running with someone helps in a lot of ways. It can help you keep pace, it forces you to show up when you don’t want to. If you’re someone who is able to run and carry a conversation then you also get to socialize.

In the spring of 2023, Shauna had a massive stroke. And the running stopped. Instead of running it was visits to the ICU, then rehab, then home as she learned to walk through her house again. The thought of running didn’t cross my mind. My mind was overwhelmed with trying to adjust to the fact that my grandma was gone and how would life look now with all these changes. I ran two races last year, one that I had only ever run with Shauna, who was no longer able to run, and the second a stroke awareness run. She had hoped to attend both, even if we had to push her in the wheelchair. But the first was too close to her surgery date for her cranioplasty (putting her skull flap back in) and the second too close to post-op. Either way-I did those two races and then I didn’t run again. I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel like I had a reason to. My running partner could no longer join me and it all felt like a lost cause.

Until now.

I want to add that I didn’t think about this much. I thought I should run only because I knew I was getting out of shape. But my desire was zero and I can use the “busy” excuse just as much as the next person. I think a lot of us expect God to show up in big and loud ways. I know that when I need to make a decision about something I will ask for the Lord to make His will “crystal clear” to me. That’s the easiest way out. But I hadn’t asked for anything. I hadn’t been praying about running. But one day He gave me the crystal clear message, “It’s time to run again.”

It’s not just about running though, right? It was also: “I know you’ve been asking me for relief, but I’ve been waiting on you to let go. It’s time.” Healing takes time. Things change and when we can’t do them as we once did it may seem futile to even try. Maybe you are where I was. Maybe life has shifted or there’s been loss and you just want to give up. Maybe the world has invaded your relationship with Christ and it all seems too complicated to keep following Him. Maybe it doesn’t seem possible or necessary. But I’ve lived life long enough to know that every night turns into day. Rainstorms don’t last forever. Eventually the rain dries and drains away and seeds can be planted so that new life may begin.

Since the time I began writing this post Shauna is running again. It started on a treadmill hooked to a harness so that she had something to hold onto and something to catch her if she fell. It progressed to running in gym with someone holding onto her gait belt. Then one step further to no attachments. Then one step further to running outside on pavement. When we run in September for the stroke 5k, she will run with us, even if it’s just for two minutes at a time. Even if it’s not her normal form. Her skull intact. Her breathing without assistance. Her smile more equal and her laugh a little louder.

What time is it? (other than game time)

In America, we are starting another school year. Fall sports are starting again and this is when a lot of people fall back into a routine after the freedom of summer. This is the time of year that may symbolize a fresh start to me more than other times. A fresh start at school for the kids. Fresh sports seasons. The change of hot, humid weather to crisp, cool air. Predictability and routine. But let me ask, what time is it for you?

What have you been putting off that you know you need to start again? Even if the voice of God doesn’t speak to you in a “crystal clear way”, what do you need to do? There are a lot of things in our lives that we know we should do as followers of Christ and caring for our bodies and health that we simply just don’t. Anyone can make an excuse for anything. But if you were to pause and quiet yourself, what is God trying to call you back to? Is it your daily time with Him? Is it prioritizing your health? Is it reconnecting with your spouse? What do you need to move past and let go of? What do you need to accept as good even though it’s different?

Running gives me time to pray. Most of the time I run without anything in my ears. This way I can hear everything around me but also helps me clear my mind and focus. Usually when I listen to music while I run it’s to distract myself.

It’s also election season, which becomes the noisiest season every 4 years. Goodnight, it is brutal! And so maybe it’s time to prepare your heart and mind for November. Maybe more so how you will respond if your candidate loses. How will you treat the people who voted differently than you? How or will you pray for the candidate who won? Maybe it’s time to love your neighbor again. Maybe it’s time to make sure you’re grounded before your post or comment. Maybe it’s time to reset your gaze on the only true King and lover of our souls.

What time is it?

Side by side with Jesus, the world looks dimmer than we thought. less interesting than how we praised it for being. but with jesus, no matter who and what we put him next to, his glory wins every time. so whatever your “everything” is, leave it and follow the king.
-jackie hill perry